WHO was the original question! Well not to Tom, Dick or Harry. Their is a secret in distance racing and the easiest route is to obtain a number of birds from the same loft that does not have many losses.
“Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.”
— Chinese Proverb
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From Plato’s Phaedrus, commenting on the invention of writing.
Here, O king, is a branch of learning that will make the people of Egypt wiser and improve their memories. My discovery provides a recipe for memory and wisdom. But the king answered and said ‘O man full of arts, the god-man Toth, to one it is given to create the things of art, and to another to judge what measure of harm and of profit they have for those that shall employ them.’
The people who invent something new, create a new tool or technology, are not necessarily the people who are going to understand what the social impact of those inventions will be.
And so it is that you by reason of your tender regard for the writing that is your offspring have declared the very opposite of its true effect. If men learn this, it will implant forgetfulness in their souls. They will cease to exercise memory because they rely on that which is written, calling things to remembrance no longer from within themselves, but by means of external marks.
What you have discovered is a recipe not for memory, but for reminder. And it is no true wisdom that you offer your disciples, but only the semblance of wisdom, for by telling them of many things without teaching them you will make them seem to know much while for the most part they know nothing. And as men filled not with wisdom but with the conceit of wisdom they will be a burden to their fellows.
One thing we’re not doing as effectively today as we’ve done in the past is to learn lessons by heart. If you don’t know things with perfect recall, how can you expect to apply them?
Socrates goes on to compare a written text to a painting:
You know, Phaedrus, that is the strange thing about writing, which makes it truly correspond to painting. The painter’s products stand before us as though they were alive. But if you question them, they maintain a most majestic silence. It is the same with written words. They seem to talk to you as though they were intelligent, but if you ask them anything about what they say from a desire to be instructed they go on telling just the same thing forever.
Socrates believed that writing was not an effective means of communicating knowledge. To him, face-to-face communication was the only way one person could transmit knowledge to another.
Oh the irony of having an argument against writing in a written text.
John Donne’s famous quote “No man is an island” has been used for centuries to tell us that man cannot live alone, that we are all essentially part of the pack, we are social animals.
However, just like any pack, there’s always that one lone wolf… or two, or three, well, you get the point.
Society has come up with a lot of names to call them, ranging from introverts to losers.
For most humans, isolation can breed loneliness which can turn to despair and push people to depression. It can be daunting to be alone all the time.
And the truth is, not all lonely people want to be alone, most times, having no friends is just a by-product of your social awkwardness getting the better of you.
But there are those people who just want to be left alone. It’s not because they don’t have people who want to be with them. These people are alone because they feel more comfortable being so.
Sometimes it’s due to mauerbauertraurigkeit. This tongue-twister is the German word for having that inexplicable urge to push people away, which results in loneliness.
Not having friends doesn’t mean you have to be irrevocably sad. Just because you have no friends doesn’t mean you’re absolutely cut off from relationships. It just means more me-time.
Fun Activities for People with No Friends
Here are 10 fun activities to enjoy for those of us who are perfectly fine with having no friends.
1. Love yourself more
One of the best things you can do for yourself is self-love.
Not having to care about how other people perceive you can be a liberating feeling. It can make you focus more on how you can feel better.
Soothe yourself with a relaxing bath without thinking about how you’re hugging the bathroom or worrying that someone is waiting for you. Light some candles, place an essential oil diffuser lamp, play some music and just soak. You can eat anything you want, whenever you want, wherever you want, however you want, even if it means eating like a slob.
You can do whatever you want without being judged.
Okay, you may be judged, but in the grand scheme of things, what other people think doesn’t matter. Humans may be social animals, but having to constantly tiptoe around social norms can be very tiring. We all need some time to be alone, no exceptions.
You should also look into investing in a condo like the ones at Precondo so you can have some nice comfortable space for yourself.
2. Immerse yourself in a book – Read lots or write one
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The thing about being alone is you get to have a lot of time to yourself. By having more time to yourself, it’s inevitable to feel boredom at some point.
But the good thing about feeling bored is that in the course of finding ways to relieve boredom, you become creative. In fact, boredom can help a lot with creative writing.
Who knows, maybe that novel you’re writing could turn out to be a best seller.
Not up for writing?
That’s fine, you can just expand your knowledge by reading books. When you read more, you get to know more. There’s this subtle good feel about going into a bookstore or a library and just picking a spot to read up on your latest novel obsession.
Or better still, grab a mug of hot cocoa with marshmallows on top and just dig into your book. Escapism is real. And sometimes, there’s nothing better than just indulging in your fantasies.
3. Solo travel the world
Travelling with friends and posting those #squadgoals on social media is well and good.
But there’s beauty in seeing the world on your own.
Travelling alone can make you look at things in a different perspective. You can follow the masses, or you can choose to tread the path less traveled by most tourists.
Solo travel can be scary and entails a lot of considerations, like safety and money. But there’s something about just grabbing your backpack and going. Sure, it may seem dangerous, but the rewards are always better and greater than the risk.
You can experience and explore different cultures, and best of all, you have the freedom to make your own choices and not be tied down by having a travel companion that wants to do something that you don’t want to do and vice versa. The pros of traveling by yourself far outweighs all its cons.
Solo travel can be the most fun will have, ever. When traveling, don’t forget to take photos of your life with the best action camera.
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4. Exercise – do some yoga
While living forever may not be possible, living longer is. Keeping healthy and fit is the key.
Just because you don’t have someone to do it with doesn’t mean you can’t exercise. There are tons of exercise you can do even without a friend, like yoga. It’s challenging but fun. It’s healthy for your body and mind and you can do it almost anywhere.
Competing with and being better than others is just winning, but competing with and besting your personal record, now, that is what I call improvement.
In case you don’t have a high amount of energy to do some yoga on your own – you can relax and go to a massage salon, or even lay for a little in a massage chair. It makes you forget about everything and allows you to let go of everything that no longer serves you.
5. Dance to the beat of your drum
Dance is an expression. Dance is an art. Watching someone dance gracefully is a great joy, dancing on your own is great big fun. Yep, that includes dancing awkwardly in your room to music that rocks your roof off.
You may not have been born from a boom box, but that doesn’t mean you stop dancing, especially dancing to the beat of your own drum.
Want to go to the beach in the middle of winter? Go ahead, there’s no rule saying beaches are only for the summers.
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Go on an unplanned trip to the museum you saw on your way home.
Passed by a flea market and you stopped to hunt for some undiscovered gems? Sure, why not.
6. Watch movies on your own
One of my favorite lyrics comes from Andy Grammer’s Lunatic: “I love to see films in the middle of the day, same movie seen a different way, I don’t think that makes me crazy.”
Watching a movie premiere with a crowd is an enviable thing, but watching a movie while having the theaters all to yourself is a privilege. The beauty of going to the movies by yourself is getting to watch without all the side comments and accidental spoilers from other people, a.k.a. those spoiler-happy friends.
You don’t even need to leave your house. You can binge watch movies or TV series or whatever you want in the comfort of your bed. The best part is there’s no one to stop you, just a marathon of pure uninterrupted marathon.
7. Play all the games you want – guilt free
Okay, this is basically the same thing as number 6 but what’s even better is you can play all the games you want non-stop and you don’t even need to feel guilty about it.
You can do all sorts of things, from increasing your ranks or levels in online games and playing role-playing iconic characters in video games, to spending all your time working on your game to become a better athlete.
You will have enough time to practice playing any game which you want to be the best in. You may choose a good shuffleboard table or pool table to practice by yourself. One day, you will show a good game to everyone you will play with. After all, you will not always play alone?
The thought of playing all day is not just fun, it’s everyone’s fantasy that you can turn into reality.
Related resource: these new electronic darts boards allow you to play darts with other people all over the world.
8. Go to that concert
Your favorite band is coming to town, but you don’t have a friend to see them with? Doesn’t matter, just go anyway. You’ll be thanking yourself later for not missing that opportunity.
A lot of times, we get the chance to see or do something amazing but we pass it up because we got no friends to accompany us. But we should really stop doing that ‘cause the missed opportunity will become a moment of regret sooner or later.
Ralph Waldo Emerson reminds us to “Never lose the opportunity to see something beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting.”
9. Challenge yourself to do something risky, like cooking
“Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” ― Francis of Assisi
Okay, cooking might not seem like it has a lot of risks, but being able to cook a scrumptious meal is a challenge in and of itself.
The level of difficulty raises even higher if it’s your first time in the kitchen, but increasing your skills in the kitchen means being able to become self-sufficient while having good food and a happier tummy. It’s fun to experiment in the kitchen, but be careful not to cut yourself (although this happens) or food poison yourself.
If you’re an accomplished cook already, then challenge yourself to do something else. Do the impossible.
10. Dedicate yourself to something
Just because you don’t have friends doesn’t mean you can’t have friends. If human friends don’t work for you, well, there’s no reason why furry friends can’t as well.
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Bar any allergic reactions, getting a pet for life won’t just be a good companion for you; they can even make your life happier.
But you have to understand that getting any pet won’t be a walk in the park. You have to dedicate yourself to caring for them, just like with any life.
If you don’t want the responsibility of caring for living things, you can also dedicate yourself to a cause, become an advocate for something you’re passionate about.
Conclusion
Not having friends doesn’t mean you’re alone. And the thing about being alone is that you’re not really lonely even when you feel alone because there are thousands of people who feel the same.
I’m not glorifying or trivializing loneliness here, but you don’t have to dread being alone or having no friends.
Instead, if you find yourself in a friendless circumstance, use the situation to become a better you while not forgetting to enjoy the process.